And mexicans. My burrito likes you.
apparently farting at a cop is considered assault.
So. Camera broke because I tried to wash it under the sink, kristi had to take me home and I woke up to my computer showing me that I googled how t take more than one shot at a time. I'd say the night was a success.
Im at the hospital with monitors on and a giant green top hat. i blew a 24somethin. Im fucked.
I've thrown up so many times in the third floor bathroom of Baldwin that they should probably just go ahead and name it after me.
Good, she had spurs on her boots. That is a sign for instant herp attack.
It's one of the many facets of my drunken alter egos. I'm like substance abuse batman.
hey, this is the ginger girl from the party...i've thought about it and I wanna join the american girl drinking team
Typical Sunday afternoon purchase of condoms and a helium tank.
So somebody asked her is she's okay.She turned around,started running and screamed "Ballet is running through my veins" before doing a small pirouette.It's amazing how she managed not to fall.
Make me a sandwich
The day you make me feel like my detachable showerhead does I'll make you a sandwich.
For once I want to have sex without having to google the after effects of it.
they need to invent a card that reads "thanks for all those boners you gave me that you did NOTHING about"
we were both freshly single and using each other as rebounds. most intense sex I've ever had. i felt like a grizzly bear emerging from hibernation in a whirlwind of sexual fury
Im glad your laughing because im currently convincing my penis you didnt mean it and its all gunna be ok.
Randomize
