Todays lesson: Chew your food better when your drunk. I almost choked throwing up this morning.
did you violate me with a mr sketch marker when i passed out? i just peed and wiped purple and it smelled like grape. i need to get to the bottom of this...
He made a note in his iPhone tonight so that he would remember that I rejected him.
who were those guys at the table sniffing dryer sheets?
You'd think if the campus holds 28,000 undergrad I wouldn't run into three people I've hooked up with in one day
Accidently said "your going to hurt the baby" when he got forceful with his thrusts. I guess I forgot to mention to him that we are pregnant.
it's not like this is the first time she's brought a guy home and I'm the one who hooks up with him
I'm doing laundry from this weekend.. That poor shirt I wore to the rave smells like a dead animal that rolled in weed and pain..
at one point, i told him to buy you a pumpkin spice latte and uggs because you're a common white girl and that's how he should get you in bed
We just got in a fight with grandma b/c she tried to tell us you didn't go hard.
My car has a permanent smell of sex to it now.
Dipping my sugar cookies in a glass of fireball and creme soda. This is holiday spirit
So I'm at home coloring while smoking a joint. It can only go down hill from here.
I just smoked part of an Oreo cuz I thought it was some hash you left
So my furniture is upside-down, two lamps are glued to the ceiling, and there is a kitten sleeping on Kyle's face. Please tell me what happened last night....
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