what are u so afraid of ive smelled ur poop before
you know your drunk when 7 soccer players cant catch up to a tranny in high heels who just stole your wallet
i just shit on the floor of my room. my roommate was in the bathroom, my choices were limited.
oh man. maybe i should puke on his dick? just to test how much he loves me?
If everything I've heard is true, then she's lost her virginity three times
she asked how her costume looked and all i could say was bars are dark right?
Two word: claymation porn. Think about it.
I don't think I can ever express my appreciation for the things you text me.
He stumbled into my room, flopped on my bed, shoes on my pillow and asked me for a juice box. Then fell asleep with the juice box on his forehead.
The drag queen we did coke with is going to be on Ru Paul's drag race. I feel so proud.
tell her i changed her phone's unlock password to be the length of my fully erect penis in centimeters. I'll be in my room for the next two hours.
I've been here for three hours and I am already feeling sorry for whatever offspring i will indefinitely produce in this place.
I pray for you bro.
You grabbed the hot guy that was making out with his girlfriend all night, slurred "I need to borrow this" then shoved your hand down his pants. All because you thought your ex walked into the bar. It was majestic in its shitshowness.
I did however clean up the cupcakes and vomit so I'm not that bad of a roommate
You can't be mad... I'm letting you jerk off in my parents shower
I dont know. He's too private. After you fuck him find out his secrets.
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