Taking my final with a coffee mug full of keystone... best semester ever.
i love when people i haven't talked to since we fucked write on my wall.
She referred to her collection of sex toys as an "arsenal." I'm not sure whether to be scared or excited....
So tasty. Tasty like a vagina with ninjas in it
This is worse that I thought. He's playing violin for me.
I just wanna go home eat some pizza rolls, get warm and jerk off, and it's only 845. This shit was supposed to make me see unicorns. Not cry
I thought making out with his sister would be a great way of meeting him. But it backfired.
I have a new favorite bar game. It's called, get dressed up and go drinking alone then make up random stories of why you are alone to look less like an alc
Good because ass is like 60% of my diet now
I think i'm going to homewreck at this Disney on Ice show.
When I say "is it a bad idea to do Mollie before an 8hr shift tomorrow?" I dont want to hear the truth I want to hear you encouraging my bad decisions
Getting free blow from a total stranger, who asked permission to stroke my eyebrows, was the highlight of my evening out. Also, I have a new cuddle dealer.
So, I've discovered that I'm approximately 70% nicer to my mother when I've had an orgasm in the last 48 hours. It's science.
i buy too many watermelons when I'm drunk
She pooped on me during a reverse cowgirl. And it wasn't a little bit either.
Randomize
