Hard rock hotel, wtf why am i still out, im gonna fuk 5 chix 2nite .maybe
We were so bored at work tonight that we were in dry storage taking turns pouring the boxed wine we use for cooking into each others' mouths. I think I'm starting to understand the "problem" aspect of "drinking problem."
When you come back do you think I could print anorexic pictures of Mary-Kate?
just found a sign outside my brothers door "not going to church, don't even try" and he is covered is vomit in his bed.
i wanted to tell my neighbors to shut up it was 4am, but listening to her rag on him for his minute man routine was actually entertaining
they esentially rejected my mermaid threesome offer:(
I told him I had to grab my Swedish fish from the car before they froze. Then I just left. But the fact that he knew how important it was not to have my fish freeze almost made me come back in....almost.
If I have to strap one on and give it to you good, you will not die revirginated. That's friendship.
We looked in every room for condoms... It was the sexiest scavenger hunt ever.
How the fuck do you get a noise complaint filed against you at 9:30am on a fucking Tuesday?
every day is bullshit and fuck everyone. That's my motto for the week
Stupid adulating
Yeah it sucks, but at least I can buy wine so it all comes out in the wash
Nah, i wasn't offended. Having a bridesmaid who you had had multiple threesomes with your future husband would be weird.
You were pretty conviced that my dog was a spanish child and kept trying to read him the news from your iphone app
Someone's gotta tell him drunk sex comes before dating
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