there is a ziplock bag over sangria in a wineglass in the fridge...classy?
no, i'm proud of you. this is the happiest you've been since you discovered that bowls can be used as cups if you don't feel like washing dishes.
ugh, today is just one of those 'get high before your 8am class' days.
so, my congressman just called me to say he has office hours this week if i'm still interested in talking to him. i pray to god this is not related to Friday.
dude i just figured out that the tostitos sign is two people eating chips and salsa. being high totally pays off sometimes
If my bosses could see, smell or hear me right now they would understand why its a horrible idea to keep the office open sundays
Does she know that uploading nude photos to photobucket and networking are two different things? You may want to ask.
Also, I think I'm too drunk to be at the gym right now. But how sober do you need to be for IM volleyball?
I'm eating those little wheels of cheese and watching storage wars, this is the opposite of sex.
I just spent my entire state tax return on sex toys
Never let a one night stand shower at your place. My razor, lotion, and brush disappeared. #girlcode
I feel like I just did it with Buster from Arrested Development. Taking a shower. #winefail
no it was
but you compared your dick to a female disney character
His PENIS is so fucking big that I always use caps, out of respect.
FYI - Don’t go in the downstairs bathroom. Ryan is passed out naked on the floor with a raging hard on.
Randomize
