atleast your grandma didn't give you her USED dildo just so you wouldn't have sex.
Are you with Adam and his vodka?
Yeswdsssss I masde his pickle gi away ans he go anbnoued
you're out of your mind
you look like daphne blake and he looks like fozzie bear
it's like he rubbed a lamp and wished you into existence
We discussed how the marijuana was making the dopamine float around our nucleus accumbens last night when we were high. Yet another example of how our science classes are perverting our good times.
It's a shame that I don't know his last name. Actually, it's an ever bigger shame that I don't know his first name
I just filled out my 2010 Census drunkenly. I'm single handedly throwing it off.
Being the only sober one.. I had to feed you guys doritos. You kept licking my fingers.
Btw...pregnancy boobs are amazing. I don't recommend pregnancy in general but the boobs are good.
I may have just flashed my roommate as he walked in while my towel was falling. Now he knows what an American sized penis looks like I suppose
we left the music on while we were fucking. some kanye west song started playing and he started to cry
Someone please drive out to my house to bring me a beer.. There are some in the fridge but I just can't get up
My mind's like "He's a sexist pig" but my uterus is like "YOU SHALL BEAR HIM STRONG CHILDREN"
Probably gonna run and pray I throw up. Then go get a coffee/bagel & continue to rally
I wish I knew the extent of my injuries before I climbed over the fence. Might have avoided the need to purchase a cupholder for my wheelchair.
last night you said that you wanted to hold my dick as you slept because it was like having a stuffed animal.
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