I drank enough to make her look pretty . . It worked and i threw up while going at it
It felt like his penis had an endoskeleton.
i am about to cut my stepbrother's hair into a mohawk with the same clippers i use to trim my pubes. god is so on my side today.
this whole healthcare thing got me thinking.. without knowing it my parents are now going to be paying for my dealer to be able to live..
He gave me a promise ring. He promised that he will imagine me as every girl he fucks in college.
WHATEVER CLASS IS PLAYING "TOOT IT AND BOOT IT" AT 8:30 IN THE MORNING, I WANT IN.
Her roommate "grounded" her because she drunkenly tried to fill their fish tank with vodka
the scent of your tears make me crave pizza
The condom broke. Its OK tho, turns out I was just humping her thigh for 20 minutes. Jager dude, Jager.
I feel like passing out with my foot on your face has bonded us at a very fundamental level.
This tiny Canadian guy just tipped me $20, a piece of gum, and a joint. I wasn't working. He literally tipped me for talking to him.
I ran into a hotel and told the doorman he was doing a great job. That was before you cried on my jacket.
Just set up my first threesome: a rapper and a Marine. Pretty sure at least 80% of girls in America hate me right now.
sex in a hospital.. check
HOW DO YOU FORGET TO FINISH WINE
Randomize
