I think my penis got bigger when i lost weight
His threats seemed pretty legit for a 6 year old
Atty had lunch with DA and confirmed I am not the target of the investigation. No word on anything else
I guess I could probably fit that in between deep self reflection and teenage mutant ninja turtles
He broke the bed, AND shit in the closet. What a way to lose his virginity. What a night.
Hey remember that spam cooked in dr pepper we made? 10x better when the dr pepper is rum
I feel like we should build an island for girls that have committed atrocious numbers of unforgivable sins. We'll call it 'whore island' after the anchorman fashion.
I woke up and they were watching power rangers in japanese so I just found my bra and left
Just follow the currents of life. And if they take me on to a guys dick, so be it.
He said he looked out his window and I was sitting in the grass with blood everywhere talking to a dog.
My housemates are judging me because I'm high at 8am and making Spongebob shaped Mac and Cheese
They know nothing, John Stoned.
Sincerely. Thanks. You could have thought of anyone sitting on your face but you chose me. :)
Is it weird to wish your favorite hooker "happy thanksgiving"?
I was so high I just stared at the papa john's app on my phone and cried
we found her. shes in the bathtub full of raw pasta. i dont even know...
Randomize
