For the amount I put out, I should be going on way more dates.
That's a really weird place to spoon. Especially if there are more accessible places to spoon. Like a bathtub.
We should probably avoid doing this again, but hey it was a nice one time thing to tell the grandkids about... Hopefully they don't end up being YOUR grandkids.
I feel as though I could trust her, I mean she did tell me she was married before we had sex.
I got used. This is the happiest day of my life. I was just a huge cock and that is all she needed.
Someone just told me I have an ass that could kill small children .... Don't know how to take that one
I wonder what acid is like for a blind person... Can we find this out?
he suggested we do it doggy style cuz it was his dead dogs birthday...i had to do it
there is a hole burned clean through my text book on forestry law and I saw you walking around with a blowtorch last night. Hope you have $160 on ya...
blew off easter dinner with the fam to go play shot roulette. woke up in nothing but my boxers in the back of a random pickup truck.
I was just shot with a dart gun by one of my coworkers while walking to the printer. Ironically I was printing my resignation letter...
Mom told me you snuck booze into a concert in a cheez its box...I have never been prouder to be related to you
Before you started puking your brains out, you took a moment to give me the correct order of the Harry potter series
Starting this Monday as I always do
With a desperate plea for help
You left your pants here again. 4th time in a row. How can you walk home without pants?
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