Let's just have a brief moment of silence for my dignity before we start tonight
wait can you just look around please? that was my favorite bra and i've already asked like 3 other guys
Well, both are illegal but one involves my vagina a whole lot less.
Just saw a porn entitled "Nad Biter". Redheads are now forever out of the picture.
Cats found the secret coke stash again
They owe us $80.
I know. He gave me a hug and i was like jesus i can just feel the std through your sweatshirt
If someone made a breakfast cereal that was a cross between lucky charms and fruity pebbles and called it unicorn power with a huge fucking rainbow and a unicorn standing in a pot of gold on the box, they would be rich. Not only monetarily but spiritually as well...
He seduced me by making me nachos. It worked.
Sorry I didn't call this morning. Ended up with a decorated war veteran last night who besides finding the enemy, KNEW where the fuck my G spot was. He gets a medal in my book!
The closest thing I've had to an orgasm lately is sneezing nonstop from fucking allergies.
We will discuss everything tomorrow i presume. Including the sweaty naked tango.
He just took off his shirt. I'll text you later.
Dude, my back STILL hurts from carrying the team on BP last night.
Always great to be boarding a plane when you realize that what you thought was gas is actually very untrustworthy
He ate me out for my sailor moon manga and I gave him a blowjob for his Devilman manga. Pretty sweet deal imo
Randomize
