JoAnns office is warmer than mine. . .it must be because she has the gateway to hell under her desk.
i thought i was pinching her nipple. It was her mole
The Wii Fit is already telling me I'm an alcoholic.
He thinks MY vagina is tight. That's saying something.
Why is there an appointment in my calandar called "get the fuck to the bus" at 3 am june 19th?
Idk. Each time I ask him about double teaming a woman with Dennis Rodman he just giggles. We will never know what to believe.
It looks like sephora exploded on his dick, so i assumed I was the second girl that gave him head that night.
When a chinchilla decides to sit on your face while you're getting head from its owner, you bond.
And then we made hashbrowns with vodka and queso.
Because you stood over the Ice luge screaming STONE COLD and poured beer on everyone
These fuzzy pants work great for sleeping, taking an exam, getting baked and watching the hobbit. I guess i'm not changing pants for 72 hours.
Is it weird that I noticed my lower half feels strange and then further realized it's bc I'm wearing underwear to bed for the first time in weeks..maybe months?
Dude, I'm at a wedding and there's a mashed potato bar and bacon strip appetizers. I'm getting all emotional.
Her blowjob technique? Picture someone attempting to drink a triple thick milkshake through a Capri Sun straw.
It went from a "chill game of beer pong" to "absinthe body shots and a tits parade" in literally two minutes.
Told you inviting her was a good idea.
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