is it bad that i shorted Freddie Mac immediatly after I heard about the CFO?
I'm worried someone is gonna take a black light to my work computer. But the connection is faster here.
I'm going to get a baby outfit made and send it to her that says: "My husband fucked his subordinate and all I got was another baby".
I know I'm really high but I swear I just saw him beating off to his fantasy football roster.
Nope. She just screamed at me "YOU WERE A FAILED ABORTION" and "I'LL PUT ANTHRAX IN YOUR PILLOW YOU LITTLE FUCK". Best mother award ever
remember the used condom we threw behind my bed? my mom found it and is accusing me and making a big deal out of it,
Haha! You pissed me off, so I actually told her to go look behind your bed. Good thing I moved to Nevada, so your dad can't kick my ass. Good luck bitch.
Well on a lighter note, guess who just threw up in the elevator
cheese fries, coffee, with a side of dry heaving in the bathroom at the diner on campus at 5am. never felt better.
i ordered 6 shots "to go" what did you think was going to happen!
The word cocktail makes me want to rip my liver out and nail it to a cross.
Totally shot down my boss for sex today. Approaching this weekend with a clear conscience and an untouched vagina.
The international association of gay square dance clubs had a booth set up in the lobby of my hotel.
I helped you wax your vagina and you won't even get me Corn Nuts you fucking bitch?
I threw up in my brother's Easter basket
part of it says your brother mayyyy have put his lips on my vagina
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