ugh.. my birth control just came out of my nose. wtf?
too bad they don't have a 'people you may be able to do' thing on facebook. it would save me a lot of fucking time.
They're drinking Schnapps out of Spaghetti-o's cans. Please come pick me up.
just took my temp. 103. i wonder how tylenol and jager bombs are gonna mix
thankjk goddddn taco bell uis open htis lateee!
you do know it's eleven in the afternoon, right?
I like the one of me you and her but you're looking at me...Total foreshadowing right there. I'm cropping it
No its cool, because I bought a handle of tequila earlier, in case things went south
Dude, you face planted, there was no "bar fight".
it's ok. he made up for it by standing there and holding my purse while i made out with three guys at the bar. it was a pretty good night.
he told me to hold it and try to write my name in the snow and it seemed like a bonding moment because neither one of us had ever done that before. i didn't anticipate it vibrating and weirding me out therefore making me let go and get my hand peed on.
Oh god he's like Julia Roberts in pretty woman... And I'm the one who's gotta make a lady out of him.
Quick question: how do I take a nice picture of my ass? I'm asking you because I figure with an ass like yours you're probably experienced.
Then years and years after that I will send you a picture of my warped vagina from all the kids that I had.
How the hell could he be confused. He had a naked girl running to him. I feel like he would enjoy that.
They were out of watermelon smirnoff, so we got you a fifth of 5 o'clock and an actual watermelon.
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