What's the politest way to tell someone that you're only interested in them when they're naked, and even then it's just like a passing "meh?"
I'm afraid that if I tell my sister I think Zachary Quinto is gay I'll have to put her on suicide watch for the next week or so
I'm pretty sure there is a country song about this exact situation
Don't pass out before midnight like you did last year. See how much your year sucked
Someone carved 'Hank' in all caps in the snow outside my apartment building so naturally I turned the capital H into a K and added an S to the front.
I think college has really matured you.
I need a pic of your cock for our cock collage
Not enough clothes on. Not enough vagina. Not enough drugs in my body.
My neighbors are outside blasting Hootie and the Blowfish while drunkenly hitting a stump with a hammer. I could get used to this.
nothing says roomie bonding better than a sunday shroom trip.
Solid. Can't put a price on good times
You can and it's called a liver.
tell me why they applauded then the bartender locked himself in the bathroom when i walked into the bar today ????
Dude when the cops came you ran through the fence. Fucking THROUGH it. You're a master ditcher.
We got drunk and crashed a fifty year old woman's birthday party for the food. Whoops.
I also told the pizza delivery guy that he smelled good. I must be ovulating.
When he said he lived in a closet I thought he meant his room was really small or something... But he actually has a queen size mattress on the floor of his roomates walk-in closet.
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