dude, you're never picky with who you hook up with, have a little dignity
nah man, chicks are like pokemon, gotta catch \'em all
you win again, gameday.
did all my christmas shopping this morning at 4am drunk. never went to sleep. i was walking home drunk last night when i passed a target and saw 3 kids having a dance off. had to join. somehow they convinced me to go shoopping with them. i bought 4 disco balls and a lava lamp.
What the hell did I do to get youtube to recommend a video for me called "how to increase your chances of getting pregnant"?
The difference between what I would do for a regular Klondike bar and an Oreo flavored Klondike bar is astounding
I dont have any paper so I'm writing class notes on my first response direction pregnancy paper. Judging eyes are all around.
I cant shower it involves moving...
Just lay there and turn the water on. At least rinse off the shame.
VAGINAS ASSEMBLE!
I'm not seeing this movie with you.
Is it weird to say that Kobe reminds me of a wise brontosaurus?
When you're a bigshot ER surgeon and I'm a starving artist, I want you to remember who held your hair last night.
Is your gma going to be okay with me passed out drunk on the ground
You are lucky that I'm drunk. Otherwise I would bone you into another universe
I just need some of your time and all of your body.
OH MY GOD did i pee on you?!
I don't know how much expertise I could offer. My best advice is, "don't drown, for god's sake don't drown"
Randomize
