please tell me I'm in your upstairs bedroom. Just google mapped myself and I have no idea where I am.
I couldn't deal, she's a vegetarian. Every woman should like a little meat in their mouths.
his personality makes his face look like an asshole.
where does the pee come out of this thing
she had a pic of herself in a bikini as the wallpaper on her iPhone... I'm sensing a Tyra banks kinda girl. shit.
Disregard that. She just puked into her boot and started screaming.
All I'm asking for is flower occasionally, and in return you get to come home to me naked in heels. Is that to much to ask for?
And for those of you keeping score at home this is the 7th time I've found Casey passed out head first in a bowl of chips at a party I didn't even know she was at
HOW IS IT EARTHLY POSSIBLE TO DO THAT MUCH DAMAGE WITH JUST MY THUMBS?? HOW???
My black heart of coal cannot compete with your boiling crock pot of teddy bears, rainbows, 90s music, and the good candy you get from rich people on Halloween.
the sex was good. her showing me pictures of her 4 year old daughter afterwards was not.
i just found a lighter in my bra... from last night, and its 7:43pm...
A dozen fresh-baked cookies delivered to my dorm AND I don't have chlamydia or gonorrhea... Could this night get any better??
We got to the hospital and the girls who caused the accident had already added you on facebook.
im mourning your vaginas lack of frictional upkeep
Randomize
