one might say we're banned from that church
so my car got towed last night. I didnt know it cost 118 dollars to have a college experience
Yeah, I was googling pictures of sharks, and I accidentally typed "shart." Huge mistake.
I was actually high enough at that point that I was just casually following your glowing footsteps like in Avatar while we ran from the cops.
will barter weed for kareoke machine...
Not a chance. She stuck her hand under my kilt and she told the whole table I was indeed commando. She broke all the rules.
Oh god he's like Julia Roberts in pretty woman... And I'm the one who's gotta make a lady out of him.
I'm going to go out on a limb and say last night was a success, also the neighbors are counting down the days until we move out.
He played pinball with my ovaries. He won.
Just called my dad drunk from bed to ask for bacon.. my niece texted me when it was ready.. i'm never moving out
I like the wholesome side of you
I'm so goddamned horny I could use all my pent up energy to tear a redwood out by its roots.
dont eat that thats our sex nutella.
It's just great that Easter is on 4/20 this year. Now everyone can enjoy the Easter egg hunts. And being around my whole family.
He's such a neat freak that he started making the bed while I was still laying on it naked. He succeed in case you were wondering.
Good rule of thumb: only list personal references with whom you have hallucinated
Randomize
