he came faster then a bring it on movie goes to dvd
he bonged a 1/5 of jack and came back an hour later blacked out with a legitimate chicago firemans helmet
I skipped class, don't know why though bc all I did in the meantime was cook pancakes and watch infomercials..my life sucks
If one more "stranger" walks up to me at the bar and asks how I have been, I am going to rehab.
The nursing school interview showed me a picture of my passed out during your party. They asked if this was a frquent thing. I told them you drugged me.
He's blaming gravity for his problems right now, so put that in perspective
My dad and I just got asked if "we wanted a more intimate setting for our date". The world is coming to an end.
Dave got tied up again. I'm done breaking into girls houses to cut him loose. At least before noon.
Drank a beer through my butt, how's your initiation going?
We are going to get high as balls and watch netflix
THIS IS WHAT BEING AN ADULT LOOKS LIKE
I wasn't a groupie because I didn't carry his guitar home
Fuck away man. Like 3% of these new people will be back next week. This is the best week of the year to slam bitches at the gym.
I left my parents and ran through the airport. I was like I'm not getting stuck in Atlanta tonight and not having sex.
I am texting my fuck buddy about fucking tonight, while facebook chatting with his wife about food.
Saddle up bitches, we're going to an orgy.
Randomize
