Bel-fucking-mar, this place has more popped collars than a Hollister catalog
well, it ended with me crying outside the strip club saying i don't want to be 21 anymoree. i'd say it was a great 21st birthday.
I'm buying eyelash glue, salt, and limes. We know how tonight is ending.
some guy had a sword and everyones crying..it turned bad..fast.
I'm soaked in champagne. I'm eating oatmeal from mcdonalds tonight was glorious
I'm not really sure what went on in my mouth last night but right now it tastes like what I can only imagine is a mixture of astroglide and peanut butter. You hungry?
If he shows up in a "mount n dew" me shirt im throwing him to the lesbians
The kind of drunk where you put two tampons in thinking that it'll last me longer ...
I went to the obgyn with chipped nail polish.. Somewhere Beyonce was looking down, shaking her head, whispering "Not fierce."
Do u remember giving me permission to fuck ur dad and then getting super pissed at me when i said ew?
You can't just walk around stealing hats from drunk boys and peeing in bathtubs. Turn down.
He gives me the same feeling I get when someone puts a margarita or German chocolate cake in front of me
Pretty sure that I just proved those labels that say "non-flammable" wrong. totally unrelated, We just made your futon fly with a shitload of fireworks
You start to question your morals when you wake up at 430 and there's three people naked...that you don't no
I am not even ashamed to say it, I got laid in the stairwell of the hotel, by a 29 year old. It was awesome!
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