And then he said "I can't get blown while Gordon Bombay and Mr. Holland stare at me from the TV"
She made a list of the things each of us had done wrong and assigned a point system. Guess who came out the loser?
Great. Me and the intoxalock guy are getting so close he just said "alright see you later girl!" when I called about getting the blower recallibrated.
He had a curved dick....must be a european thing
I'm slightly possesive over the gucamole when i'm stoned.
Is that why you left peanut shells in my bed?
my revenge plans when i'm high are never as good as i think they are
No. He burped at a 3 year old, roared at him and proceeded to scream at the kid's parents to watch their child. The manager of Olive Garden was on our side.
Its a "sake bomb in the bathroom during class" kind of day.
We need more drag queens in our life I've decided
You went into the shower with my roommate and cursed him out asking why he was there
It was all going fine until I had to chug that strawberita bud light. That really ended badly.
Honestly I have a huge freedom boner right now and if I came it would be red white and blue
She brought me back a blanket from Mexico, then we had sex on it
No ambien sex tonight. I just ate two hotdogs with chilli and onions.
And by "sexually intimate," you mean fuck buddies?
Did I tell you about the swingers? Because I think they're trying to trap me.
Randomize
