You have problems? I'm 20 years old and i'm balding
He thanked me for being "his little blond pogo stick last night". Good thing?
Have you seen my high heels that I wore out?
You mean the one that you threw at the parked cop car or the one in the microwave?
Between the two of us weve fucked every guy at this table
So you have no knowledge as to why I am hearing loud repetitive mooing from next door?
No way. Our relationship is based solely on texting and sex. A phone call would be too much at this point.
You said eat breakfast. So i poured Baileys on top of m&m's. It taste just like like cereal I swear.
Sober me does NOT approve of what went on in my pants last night.
WHITE RUSSIAN WEDNESDAY. TELL YOUR CO WORKERS. INVITE QND PREPARE
You know, last years football game was epic, but seeing the same girl that gave you a bj in the parking lot, in the same parking spot...that's fate.
We picked up some guys dressed as shamrocks at taco bell. I will text you with further information.
No, seriously, I've slept with 3 guys this month.
It's ok, February is a short month
Came so hard when I was riding him that I actually bit some of his chest hair off. He said I was the first girl ever to do THAT.
I feel as though I look like a mom with a substance abuse problem
Apparently swingers are magnetically drawn to me?
Randomize
