It's what's on the inside that counts(972): They probably have big open vaginas so the inside is no good
You're the unicorn of the gay community. Unbelievable and unattainable.
I get credit on the assist, you can thank me by taking a pic of her ass under the covers and sending it to me. It would make my YEAR
the ball fondling will be left out of the trip recanting
Called the cops on a high school party then went in after all the kids ran away and took the rest of the beer. What are you doing tonight?
Operation: sleep in every bed at the boys' house is nearing completion. Now at 5/9. I AM GOLDILOCKS AND NO ONE CAN STOP ME
But I wanna cuddle and just put my hand awkwardly close to your penis area by accident and look at you
I'm petting the cat while shitting. This is all I ever wanted
In other news it turns out I like Heineken.. In a desert island kind of way
I got drunk and slept with the guy who looks like Jesus.
Typical.
quick, give me some iron man trivia, i'm going to make this girl regret quoting tony stark in her tinder bio
There's just something so liberating about drinking a beer with no pants on
Also you can't just sext a Michelle quote from Full House.
"We hooked up and in the morning he emailed me his mix tape"
Hey do u remember the time we used my mascara wand as a drink stirer?
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