Would it be horrible to send my ex's girlfriend an email telling her that I sexed her man up so dirty that he fell asleep inside of me afterwards?
If i see another girl turn you down you should either turn gay or just kill yourself
I realized that I earned the name Classy cassie as i was throwing up vodka slushie in my bed with a guy I know by the name extacy boy
there's a wings menu taped to my wall. don't tell me i don't have my priorities straight.
I woke up and blew hamburger out my nose. That kinda night.
She is feeding us popcorn out of her bra
Bacon Cheddar rum burgers are as great as they sound. I knew that 100 proof Captain would be good for something other than vomit.
I just hope when I turn 21, it doesn't tank my entire semester.
Caleb has a beard comb now. Also I have a pube comb now too. May or may not be related incidents
You merely adopted the alcohol. I was born into it. Molded by it. I didn't see the hang over until I was a man and by then it was only blinding.
I don't even have his number. I have his pants tho
And besides a nice relationship, I just really want to get laid damnit
learned the hard way that breakfast jack daniels is a lot stronger than lunch or dinner jack daniels.
I slept naked last night on stolen pillows. I felt like a golden goddess.
Nothing says "Happy New Year" like having to shit into a plastic bag.
Randomize
