It's always a surprise to see what songs I shazamed and downloaded last night while we were drunk at the bar.
Just found my old bop it. So many drinking game possibilities
I refuse to have sex with you and your eBay condoms.
the good news is that i vommed the last of my humanity last night.
welcome to the club.
Hot dogs and hydrocodine is NOT the combo of champions
I found out that rock climbing and alcohol does not go together. Ask my broken arm.
At least his std test came back clean, gotta look at the positives here
Do you know how hard it is to put a bandaid on a vagina?
My vagina: 1 Male stubborness: 0
Idk what I'm more afraid of...checking my bank account or my STD results.
I wanna trust fall face first on a penis.
I have two bottles of emergency tequila stashed under my desk at work.
That butt dial turned into a booty call.
What! I said that you would fall in love? See I know better. Dark liquor makes me think everything is a dream. I barely remember saying that
I just licked honey off my own tit. Is there anything about that which doesn't SCREAM single???
Randomize
