i should write a book entitled 'the joys of being sexually objectified'
I cut my penus on the lid.
I puked in the coffee maker. I wouldn't make coffee tomorrow morning if I were you
Hey do you have a way to post bail? If not we can hook you up. If a police officer is reading this please ask him and respond in a timely fashion. I am concerned for my imprisoned friend
Then I realized I was alone sitting on the bathroom floor brushing my teeth at 2am laughing to myself.
whoever brushed my teeth and whitened them while i was passed out, thanks.
If those antibiotics mean you can't drink, ya might as well pack your bags and re-enroll next fall, because sobriety this week would be social suicide.
I'm so hungover. I just keep eating the otter pops I'm trying to use to get rid of my hickies.
I'm staying at his house to solve the homeless situation. There's a freezer bag of weed in the fridge. He doesn't know it's there, and he's not missing it so I may have an income soon.
He wants to tie me naked and spread out on his table, press a vibrator to my clit and feed me ice cream.
That is my stoner wet dream!
I just want to slap everyone in the face that's happy being sober. Loser.
Successfully defrauded the county government. What have you done today?
I ate 2 pot cookies before we left the house. Fuck Pokemon. I'm playing my own game.
Dont... please don't. Don't fuck him on his bean bag bed
No he doesn’t answer my texts except for like on New Year’s Because like I was fucked up on New Year’s and he said happy new year and I told him the same and I called him dragonslayer and you can’t really recover from that
Randomize
