Were not really friends so much as I suck his dick a lot
Tostitos Scoops as shot glasses. Eat for chaser.
My girlfriend was pissed, so if I had to guess, i'd say I had a GREAT time last night
He said he got a lot of action last night. I asked how much? And he said he got to see down her shirt. Freshmen never cease to amaze me.
He was eating her out on the elevator. What a good man.
is it just my freshly shaved vagina or is the guy at the end of the table pretty cute??
You kicked in the door when she was blowing him. You dont remember do you?
He just whispered "doors are weird" and then laughed so hard he fell down the stairs.
Went home with a male stripper who looked like Justin Timberlake.. I started singing cry me a river mid sex. When he sang along I fell in love
DUDE FUCK CALL ME SHE HAS GRANDKIDS
I think I'm still high. And I definitely still smell like lobster, so there's that
I just wanna be euthanized
Thas it
he answered his phone during sex and left to go help that drama queen with her latest bullshit. I'm drinking all his vodka. it's asshole tax
please don't forget about the bread in the toilet i am absolutely not dealing with that
I'm still thinking about that amazing orgasm last night. I literally heard angels singing "Hallelujah!!"
Randomize
