dude you need to get laid
me?
no, the other guy who hasn't been laid in 7 months
oh I thought you were talkin about me
wait
I know, he also has a fancy car to make up for his tiny penis
you only like me because i go down faster than a bridge in minnesota
what are you wearing?
Just my guilt
I find it funny that "sexual harassment" contains the phrase "ass sex". Let me know what your thoughts are on the matter.
I left when they started reinacting what appeared to be a jerry springer episode
Took an aderol, wrote a differential equation for solving volume of flow of a rectangular channel with change in depth, then masturbated for the 6th time.
Make sure you take the apple pie out of your pocket before you pass out.
Yeah kinda weird. My grandparents are here for dinner and I'm chilling on the couch close to tripping out on pain killers. My pap asked me how works going and I prettymuch drooled on myself as an answer.
FridayRule: If it takes you longer than 5 minutes to find a parking spot, you don't have class today
Dude, just found out there's a monster in a video game named after me. No more dating nerds.
she asked me to come back to her house where "hopefully her kids were asleep". that my friend is what i call a dealbreaker
Long fucking story. But hey I got an orgasm and breakfast so I'm winning.
If he thinks I'm canceling my orgy to coddle his stupid fucking behavior, he has another thing coming
I shit myself and fell down the stairs and I’m still finding shit In those pants.
Randomize
