just do him I won't tell jon
um i'm guessing you meant to send this to tina, thanks for the support in our relationship you whore
Well listen chief - never again do i want the scenario of going to the ER totally naked and partially drunk to b a possibility.
i was trying to give him roadhead and my tits kept knocking his cheap shifter into neutral...was the first time my tits have ever cock blocked me
okay, I promise to stop paying strippers to hit you
My broken door handle makes it really inconvient for when i need to puke at red lights.
By the way, i got bored and just started putting my balls on every object in your room. One at a time.
I'm over this relationship. I'm just going to get drunk all day, wake up in a puddle of my own vomit again, and go on with my life
I'm hoping my engineering degree will pay off when I invent porn watching in the shower
I just got attacked by a swarm of butterflies. Nothing is okay anymore.
I feel violated by Miley Cirrus's performance in the VMA's.
I walked out and he was covered in jelly, slithering around the floor. I don't know how to process that.
According to the arrest report, I shouted "no, YOU put some pants on" at the cop. Downhill from there.
Then, even the devil himself would be scared of us. And we'd be bestfriends with Jesus. He would love us.
I've decided I will have no shame for the things I don't remember doing.
He took off all my clothes, fingered me, than said "would you be more comfortable if I was naked too?"
Randomize
