Dude WTF? His teammate just started talkin to me on fb! Am I walking around with a "I like to f**k gators" on my forehead?
No, it just says ur easy
I only kidnapped one of them. chill
Overheard: "his girlfriend fucks him with the lights off. It's not serious."
lmfao. well really. it's not love if you cringe at the site of his anus.
Found a joint walking to class. I feel like the environment is rewarding me for being green.
I mean, keeping the tube socks on AND taking cell phone pictures that he didn't ask for during sex? that's two strikes kiddo.
Who would have guessed that on my moms birthday she'd have sex with the door open. :(
Just traded a samurai sword for some drugs. It's gonna be one random ass night
I officially lit my glove on fire while lighting the bong. Winter needs to end.
and yes i will spend 10 dollars on a vibrating toothbrush to masturbate but not a calculator for my test
I don't know. I was also picked up by the doormen and held over the bar so I could do an upside down shot out of a bartenders tits.
He tried eating fireworks, to stop him being hungover in the morning. Where do you keep finding these people?!
I'll keep you from getting pregnant and you keep my papers gramaticallly correct
Her neighbors? They're nice. Young family. Tried not to get puke on their side of the lawn.
I just lifted up my shirt to scratch my stomach n a Dorito flew out of my pullover n it legit scared me when it hit me.
Remember when you tried to talk but you could only count by 2s?
Randomize
