we're blogging at a bar
are you still at the devil's house?
I can only masturbate in one position. It's very inconvenient.
Do you have a shampoo for semen
Or a time machine
Just crossed the line with my beat friends girl twinsie. Didn't realize tillz afta how much the look alike and an thougholy creeped out. Thanks ciroc
I want to meet new people and vomit on their things instead\n
Saturday at 4 is jello wrestling sponsored by the senior class council. That's why my school is awesome. Boom.
and ive been naked for the greater part of the evening. alone, drunk, and naked. i think that is how all great interventions start.
Every man needs a table where they can sit and reflect on the successful penile conquests of the day.
It's gotten so bad I typed my will out on my phone in case it's over.
It's midsummers eve. A.k.a. come over so we can get drunk and wear leaf crowns
Dude I'm driving around California right now hiding little bags of weed in random places like Easter eggs so that I can come back and find them later
I actually feel bad for him. He has me as a girlfriend and he's like a saintly cleanly person... And I'm over here telling him to jizz on my back and shit.
She fucked the dishwasher AND the manager.
Well, she isn't a classist. You've got to give her that.
So she was amazing, that's what. Idk if it was the blow or the blowjob, but both my heads are still tingling.
Randomize
