I justed realized that the word 'turd" is present in saturday
watching a tv show about cocaine.. just explained to my mom why the test monkey chose coke over food
My mom asked me to donate my child hood stuffed animals to the poor then I realized I was hiding liquor behind them. I told her I was too attached to them. She understood. Wrong in so many ways.
I just made a steamroller out of a christmas ornament. I feel so festive.
I started sorting laundry at 6 am. He finally got the hint and left
did i try to light ur hair on fire with a sparkler at the club saturday?
Rehydrating your liver back to life is never a good idea.
The thing i'm gunna miss the most about college is peeing while brushing my teeth in the shower without being judged. You just can't do that anywhere else
Would I waste your time for mediocre porn?
I'm pretty sure your ex of four years just had a baby with some kid and named it after you...
It's pretty self explanatory. You tried to have sex on the hood of a car in front of everyone
I just sucked dick on a ferry
Going to give your dick a friendship bracelet.
there is another microwave in the elevator.
Congratulations you now have a pet Scotsman.
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