Good. I was naked most of the night. But sometimes I would wear my tux vest...But only my tux vest. It was classy
well,he told me "i bet you five bucks that i can right cum on the mirror with my cum" i said alright do it, lets just say he's five bucks richer...
We can get Dustin to help us. I think he'd be good at luring girls into a dark alley.
Their flight hasn't even left yet and the 'buy food to keep yourself alive' budget is gone on tequila.
Just watched a guy pause a bluetooth convo to puke outside of esso. gotta love orangeville
Now they're talking about doing whiskey shots since they're flipping the turkey over. You might need to drive me home.
It was cool in an 'oh shit I'm gonna get arrested' way.
Just got a blowjob on the pier where my great-grandfather entered America.
I woke up in my living room, on the floor, wearing nothing but a fur coat?
we're drinking bellinis i mean god's titty nectar
Well. At least he's a gentleman. A gentleman satanist.
I TOOK A FINGER IN THE BUTT YOU CAN OPEN THIS MESSAGE
I get so sad when I watch him slowly destroy his life with whiskey and cocaine. Then he bites my neck and I just want to fuck him. I can't help it.
You can now call me Rabbi, and I can now perform weddings, funerals, and other services in all fifty states. You're welcome, world.
I showered three hours ago and yet feel the need for another one already. This is my day.
Randomize
