I only kidnapped one of them. chill
i was like the pretty and slutty 8th grade girl who goes to a party, gets wasted, and ends up having sex with a senoir
details?
alcohol + bed + penis = sex
i wish i could just chop off my fat with a knife..i would rather endure that than work out
To make up for the snow days we missed he's making us write a paper on alcoholism. It's like he knows.
i secretly love the power trip of being their RA & busting these idiots for everything i did as a freshman
i think i had a heart attack, prayed, and jizzed my pants.all at once.
You know what's soul crushing? Walking to subway and find out you were too drunk to put on shoes and being denied service.
Um. I literally have no words.
And now I'm drinking leftover wine in the grad lounge because fuck my life
If I hid at school to avoid the cops, is it fleeing and evading or just being a good student?
My 12 o'clock class is an all star team of my ex's hook ups
I just called my boyfriend "Dad"... Awkward
I may be asexual, but I owe you a solid from yesterday. I am a man of my word.
I haven’t been this excited since I found out they sold cases of Jack Daniels.
Is there a subtle way to tell him he needs to hydrate? 8 years of yoga and kegels. He has no idea what I’m going to do to him this weekend
I’m never getting home or fucked or eating hot Taco Bell fml
Randomize
