If you were a Panda and I were a Koala and we had a baby, it'd be a falafel. Just think about that.
Saying she let herself go implies she was actually holding on
No. Please No. At first it was cool when you started bring an extra girl home for me but after 2 cycles of clap medicine I'm putting an end to it.
every single one of us blacked out. we woke up the next morning and it was like the night never happened. IT'S STILL A MYSTERY
Her boyfriend only talks to me because I know her period schedule
Dude that's beautiful. I've never heard of someone smoking with their bunny.
I feel like I have a connection with him. A marijuana-induced-spiritual connection.
I just want to like rub my face on his abs
I need help
I'm considering having a threesome with my friend just so I can sleep with his boyfriend and not feel guilty about it.
I just had to take a picture of someone whose testicles are bigger than my fists combined. Living the dream.
I wish drunk me came with subtitles
Had a slight melanoma scare this morning. Spoiler alert, it was Nutella.
SHE MASTURBATED TO THE THOUGHT OF ME HAVING AN ALL DUDE THREESOME WITH HER EX BOYFRIENDS.
Apparently, im the only one in the world who thinks Larry King is hot.
The wedding is over. Operation sleep with my step-sister has officially begun
She just texted me saying "come over and eat me out, my vagina smells like honey glazed ham." I know I shouldn't be, but i'm just so curious.
Randomize
