Did you fuck her?
If by "fuck her" you mean "threw up on her shoes," then yes, I achieved that.
I've been at work for less than an hour and have pooped twice already. That's what happens when you start sleeping with your roommate and don't want to use the bathroom at home anymore.
The cops just drove by on their loudspeaker going DO NOT DRINK THE WATAHH
I love boston
he found my favorite bra, 3 thongs and a pair of jeans and gave them back. i love move out day.
so exactly what does one wear to an abortion clinic?
update. expensive tequila only makes the mistakes more expensive.
He is offering to pay me back by sending me a dick pic.
.......................................
My thoughts exactly.
Your tequila is gone. I suggest you bring more home before you go out for dinner. Money is taped to mailbox.
I attempted to stand up and was quickly reminded by gravity that I am the universe's bitch right now
I woke up and found a doughnut on our front porch. It's not sketchy though. More like a gift from the gods.
I walked around with red solo cups on my feet, weeds tied around my neck and a tree in my hand
How do you keep manipulating these men into helping you?
I'm a massage therapist with an oral fixation. It's not nearly as hard as you make it out to be.
you made cordon bleu at 4am and declared you were Marshall Stewart
There's no time frame.
For drinking wine out of the bottle and taking nyquil at 9 AM? There probably should be.
We hooked up and he sent me home with a plant and skittles lmao
Randomize
