She thinks she is all that and a bag of skittles but I'm definitely not tasting the rainbow...
I am currently prioritizing my hw by splitting into things i can and things i cant do drunk. Oh college
i had a headache and asked the kid next to me for aspirin. he gave me esctacy instead. gotta love college.
some guy just asked me if water gets in a vag when girls take a bath. WTF. it's not a wind tunnel!
We were eating hotdog buns dipped in French onion dip in lawn chairs at 4am. That drunk
Okay hun. Well my neighbors haven't called the cops yet so I think we're good. No more burning in the yard.
I mean, that's eating your cake and fucking it too.
HIS NAME IN MY PHONE IS JOSHUA DREAMCHASER I CAN NOT
NO SHAME NOVEMBER
You called me last night and said you had a vision that a cat made you a sandwich. You were tripping way too hard
He is always putting motivational shit on FB. So its like i know hes sad lonely and looking at internet porn. Break up winning
at least its a cool name to shout when he's balls deep in you later
I just used a box o wine to refill a bottle o wine to more effectively drunk clean
You got banned for life from a $30 a night motel. What are you doing with your life?
I don't know what's wrong with me. The guy from bar rescue is making me horny
Whose house did we sneak into and play beer pong for 4 hours at last night?
I honestly have no idea
Randomize
