Have you finally orgasmed yet?
Dude she looked like Jerry Garcia's knuckles
I'm at the laundry mat. This guy is here showing me his ankle monitor. The weird ones always find me.
he was grinding on you and dedicated the song "I'm in Love With a Stripper" to you then started taking his own clothes off
I think it's god's punishment for my behavior in Vegas . Lies were told. Angels were defiled. Pools were pissed in
I went from naked with lasts nights hookup to Ihop in 6 minutes flat
I think that's a new house record
Just got road head. In broad daylight. On the interstate. During rush hour. Pushing the envelope one public bj at a time.
All I remember is the bartender saying your sucking them down and waking up on the floor in my underwear
The amount of dicks I have seen in the last hour is more than I have seen in my whole life.
Let he who has not made drunken spaghetti at 3 a.m. cast the first stone.
COME TO THE TOP OF THE MOUNTAIN AND I WILL GIVE YOU MY SAGE ADVICE.
I was supposed to go on a date tonight but I cancelled because I found out the Lizzie McGuire movie is on Netflix.
I wanna trust fall face first on a penis.
So my ex just asked for my address to send me his wedding invitation... in Europe. Awesome.
That’s basically a green light to fuck his dad
Only you would try street racing in a Volvo.
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