she says her boyfriend and her dignity are both out of town tonight
plan parent hood is for high school, im at the abortion clinic, so college.
Soo I have a handle of 100 proof captain, cupcakes, and nothing to get up for in the morning.. This blizzard is shaping up to be a great night.
I am scared. I picture you doing a keg stand on a sinking ship with hula girls cheering you on. Please text me when you get back to shore...or now would be good
I don't want to smoke with her when she's on adderall. She carved her pumpkin for four hours & didn't say a word.
The fact that I woke up with my panties on the counter and a piece of pizza stuck in my sheets is what scares me.
She offered to massage my back by hitting it with a sparkly purple double dildo... Bi chicks can get creepy
At what point did you think the cops were actually coming to hang out with us
You cant hold me accountable for my actions when im high.
Have your arms or hands ever gone numb after drinking too much?
Wtf did you do last night?
U took a sewing needle to his nipple
Psshh,
my mom just said "if you had sex with someone you don't really like I'm going to be so mad at you" HOW DOES EVERYBODY KNOW
I truly just stopped puking in my 730 am calculus class, looked up, corrected my professor, then resumed puking my eyes out. He was both impressed and disgusted.
Drunk sex on a hardwood floor is never ever a good idea. Lesson learned.
It was just like the old times. We watched movies and shit. But not like old times-i fucked her hot brother when she was in the shower? Times are a'changin.
i hooked up with all four beatles on halloween get on my level
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