it actually wasnt that awkward...i planned on saying hello and walking away..then she asked if i wanted to go to lunch and i looked at her chest and said absolutely
you are my new fav person for making him do the walk of shame in pink footie pajamas!
I sent the random girl I had sex with last night a 'happy mothers day' text as a reminder to get the morning after pill.
did anyone else see me puking into my coat sleeve?
Cats found the secret coke stash again
They owe us $80.
Also I legit had a girl at my bar crying tonight saying to her friend "why did he have to take his top off ?"
just had a very awkward conversation with the concierge at the hotel, they threw your underwear out
Made myself shower before I'd masturbate. I probably should have wined and dined myself too, but that's pushing it too far.
Nothing like an alcohol-fueled, 6-hour-long hunt for weed--complete with occasional breaks for sex.
I just told the joker that my vagina is the bat cave and he needs to infiltrate it.
I wish you looked at me the way you looked at my brothers penis
Can i have the words "she went crazy and never came back" written on my grave?
I had one beer! ONE BEER! They took shots in mourning of my tolerance last night. My ability to drink is a joke.
No matter how long you've been away, there's nothing quite like pooping at your parents' house
Fun. You missed it. Michael broke a door with his erection.
Randomize
