Just woke up wearing a top hat and simpsons boxers. i also found more money in my wallet then what i had before going out, about $1000 more
so he stopped for a second, looked up at me and said in a really creepy voice, "I can has cheeseburger?" and then went back to eating me out.
I wouldn't necessarily call it an addiction, more of a passion. I'm habitually passionate.
i love how i spend my mornings exploring my phone to see what i did last night.
He IMed me 5 times, before my homepage even loaded. This is not gonna work out for me
I was totally going to sleep with him, until he got naked and started swinging around his boner singing "I'm so hard. oh yeah yeah yeah, I'm so hard" like Rihanna.
Find out what day classes start and I will come down to Richmond that weekend. Any broad who claims to be 18-21 will be promptly ID'd. My job has trained me to spot a fake from a mile away, and I don't need a statutory rape charge.
I just saw my first passed out person, sprawled out on the sidewalk like they died. I wanted to take a pic but I thought that screamed "tourist"
Well it involved jumping two nine foot fences. But when you mix alcohol and persistence you can't lose.
i just wanna get shit faced and pass out in some random holly bush with a bucket on my head and stockings for shoes.
I'm not about to serve this country to fuckin not have rum and cheezits for breakfast
okay - we take $20 and buy each other some 'drink till we puke' clothes from the thrift store.
I think I broke my hip playing drunk ping pong
Human centipede...with the teletubbies. That's what my nightmare had in it.
I don't even want to know.
What kind of friend would I be if I didn't make you hate things you once loved?
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