CONFIRMATION: i wiki searched it and Justin Bieber is 15 not 13. so i dont feel like as much of a pedofile now....
dont ever smoke after you drink again... i dont think ive ever seen...or heard of someone throwing up and farting at the same time. that is, if you were farting.
my sister and i are watching a movie and pregaming together. and by pregaming i mean shes not drinking since she 14 and im drinking alone.
I'm on page 4.
Im on beer infinity
Is it bad that John just came to my work to have sex with me bc I felt bad that he slept on his porch last night locked out and I missed all his calls?
picked up a girl by parallel parking. i love this town already.
Whoa, I am aware of WAY too many squirrels right now...
So I have to borrow my moms car tomorrow to go pick up my ID from the strip club so I can board my plane tomorrow
Started my day with puking in a trash can.... Its gonna be a beautiful day
I wouldn't be able to live with myself if I blew a Trump supporter.
I didn't know how to commemorate his death, so I snorted a fat line off of his obituary. Rest in peace.
I will take a ruler to your dick so help me god
I really prefer to do my walks of shame in the summer
This is a hot dog holiday. I intend to do my part for the processed meat workers of this great union.
Just bought 2 liters of wine and frozen waffles for dinner. Is this 30?
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