I yelled "Coming in hot." before penetrating. Im pretty sure she loved it.
season finale of lost and an oz of weed. tonight my mind is going to be blown.
Stop selling my mother weed! She's annoying as hell when she's stoned.
ambylanc
what?
there was an amgbulance. iw ish i was in it.
"The juvenile turned and faced the officer, unzipped his pants, placed a fresh cigarette in between his legs and preceded to light it with a match"
I've always wanted to pass out in a bathtub
I think most people do. Your only real mistake was turning the water on first.
I just picked up a hitchhiker so karma will be on our side this weekend. Hahahahahaha
No.
I'm pretty sure I said "this might be the last time I'm in here" but then I took his pants off so that's a mixed message
Just got cockblocked by my GF's wedding shower... That's a first. And I have to buy a gift.
Naked snow angels was a very bad idea. My vag is now frozen shut.
Are you saying being a wizard and going to hogwarts wouldn't be life changing, believe in magic you fucking muggle
idk i usually just blame everything on steve
Steve quit two months ago
My mom is dancing slutty on the bar I need more drinks to be ok with this
you should come have a drink with me (non alcoholic or otherwise) im at the same bar as your sister and a few guys that would apparently "lick your butthole"-congratulations
Can you send me the picture of me licking the cows udders?
Randomize
