People are allowed to visit it's just they can't be from Germany and have to wear masks.
I must have had a great time last night.. I woke up with coconut oil all over my glasses
Karaoke makes my soul die one wretched song at a time
sorry about calling you the devil all night.
puking up blue gatorade is not as nearly as much fun as it sounds
thanks for singing to me while i puked last night
Well, I woke up with a text message from my cab driver that said "I hope you're alive," so that's a good indicator of how I was acting last night.
I can't wait to be a mother. My daughters gonna outdrink every boy in her grade
You know, I had the money for a pregnancy test, but at the time, tacos were more important.
I can't believe I cried over a sausage mcmuffin.
I think drinking White Russians at half past four in the afternoon is perfectly acceptable. I'd bought a LOT of milk and cream that needs to be used up. Resourceful, check, fuckable, check. You have a great girlfriend here pal.
I remember caressing his hands asking him if he moisturized, then i proceeded to put his hands on my face
it's the amount of time you spend on preventing me from puking that really cements this friendship
I was trying to remember why my knees hurt then I remembered I was twerking on the countertops.
My bail money is reserved for people I either A, think were in the right, or B, have an awesome story that leads up to needing it. Just remember that before you call me.
Randomize
