My aunt just said- "pizza is like sex. Even if it ain't good it ain't bad." Obviously she doesn't know us too well.
It was then that he suggested we all nibble ears. A nibble circle.
sudden memory flashback: you and i having sex on the bed, erin sitting naked in your desk chair drinking whiskey straight from the bottle while harassing you for your computer password to play some "mood music." high five. go us.
If I get laid, we are framing that mattress and hanging it on the wall as the place we both lost our virginities.
stop calling me dude. finger blasting me officially kills you being able to call me dude.
My backyard is filled with beer cans. You idiots turned our backyard into a redneck ball-pit
Our first crop came in on the day that they added Hercules to Netflix Instant, I think it's the universe telling us that it approves of us growing shrooms in our guest room.
Not much, just taking another sorting hat quiz while waiting for this porno to finish buffering
Hopefully this dress says "let me rent your house" and not "let me suck your dick for money"
I want to get up and tell you that smells delicious but I'm struggling with the idea of pants
He's hot, you can get laid, and you may get free drugs. It's the trifecta of banging a drug dealer
Well it might’ve been because you asked to play What Makes You Beautiful at the club
I just made myself orgasm twice and Laura lee hit 4 million subscribers. It’s a good day everywhere
what do u think we would be doing right now if we were together
Urinating on unicorns
Hey? Just a hypothetical. You ever accidentally kill somebody's cat on purpose? Like you didn't mean to but it had it coming? If you're wondering it tripped me while I was walking down the stairs and I landed on it as I fell.
Randomize
