I just signed a document stating that I would dd all summer if they would go pickup food.
The Ex's are trying to talk to the GF. Game face bro.
We still going to Happy Hour
Idk. I can't because it doesn't fit in my schedule of sleeping or throwing up
Well it looked like you were having a fucking apiphany sitting at the toilet with a t shirt around your head
I'm drinking wine alone, eating leftovers, and cleaning my sex toys. For the love of god, do not graduate.
The thumbs up barstamp on my hand is mocking my hangover with its positivity.
Sorry I missed your call. Have a great morning.
That is a horrible way of saying good morning to someone. You basically reminded me that we did not hook up yesterday. It's bad enough I got to go to work all day with blue balls.
It's like an R Kelly music video in here. Only a matter of time before someone pisses on someone
The worst part about getting "creative" and by that i mean baked is that i just wanna get laid right now and all im doing is eating nachos
Yeah started playing at the wedding last night, when the line. "Ludacris fills cups like DD" he starts pointing at my tits right in front of his grandparents.
I lost my vibrator temporarily and for some unknown reason my first thought was that you might have stolen it. But then I realized you would never do that because you know it keeps me from killing people. But I am overtired and lacking in faith.
We were drunk having sex and I knocked over her bedside table/fish bowl and she jumped off to check if her fish was still alive but she made me pasta so it's cool
I got inside last night via doggy door
I told him I wanted to fuck him and he hasn't texted me back in 4 days...am I missing something
i out mim tonsoeep
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