Having your wife answer your cell was so lame. Maybe we can talk when you get your phone, your facebook account, and your balls back.
he called to tell me the scratches were still on his back. this was in the summer.. still the best hookup
CANT TOUCH THIS JUST CAME ON MY IPOD. LOVE STEVE JOBS
you got thrown out for pissing in a cup in the corner. you told one guy it was okay because you went to college and that he wouldn't understand
You are forgiven. I sent you a picture of a pumpkin man as a gesture of reconciliation.
the only compliment i could think of for this chick was that she looked 'moderately attractive'
making my second box of kraft dinner for the day. thinking about telling him how much you cheat on him so that you end up having to spend valentines day with me. i'm sorry its every man for himself.
Being invited to eat tater tots at 1:30am by a rly hot girl then actually only eating tater tots is a major let down. Tasty, but still a let down
i've been hiding in the laundry chute for like thirty minutes from her. not my manliest moment. but dude this is awesome
Don't get me wrong, the sex itself is amazing, but I don't think I will EVER get used to her habit of singing lines Jesus christ super star when she is about to cum.
I just threw up 34 cents. What in god's name did we do last night?
I think I ingested my vampire fangs last night.
Should I get the rainbow boxer breifs???
As your boyfriend, this is a level of gay that even I can't handle.
Ive been high since the plane left the ground in Los Angeles and Ive been in Chicago. Right now, Im on a train headed towards downtown to go to an anime convention. At this point, I am just taking life as it comes, furries and all.
MY HAND WILL BE UP HIS ASS IF HE DOES NOT APOLOGIZE FOR WHAT HE DID. IT WON'T BE THE GOOD-FEELING KIND OF "HAND-UP-ASS" EITHER.
Randomize
