I just made out with a guy for $7.
I just woke up to a guy kissing me goodbye and leaving for class. I don't know where I am, don't have any clothes on, my underwear are gone, and the shoes I found with my dress aren't mine. He just walked in and gave me my phone. I was on my period. Come get me I will walk to the nearest intersection and wait.
This chick just checked into her walk of shame on Foursquare... I think I'm in love.
besides im still about 80% sure that im eskimo brothers with jerry springer
i had the all of mcdonalds chanting USA as he motorboated you
just tripped. bootyfest 2012 will be my engagement party. i saw the whole future. i'm moving to the beach.
i feel like this needs to be a 'lose some teeth' kind of weekend.
THC water in my coffee on the way to work. How's your Tuesday?
You kno how some people just need a "everything will be alright" pat on the back? I need an "everything will be alright" blowjob right now. Come over
Can't talk right now. I'm doing tequila shots with my professor at some Mexican bar. That's how I prepare for finals.
At least she'll always have a story about the time she showed up to the emergency room drunk and covered in chocolate syrup on her birthday.
Gosh, I don't even have that. Let alone someone to tie me up and whip me with Twizzlers.
Walking into my bedroom & smelling stale sex & disappointment isn't how I envisioned being 39, in case you were wondering.
I shotgunned a beer immediately puked and rallied. And by rallied I mean had sex in the bathroom after he held my hair.
What a gentleman.
why is there a thong in the fridge-NOT MINE-and a half of a pickle on the stairs?!
I don't wear thongs. The picle was for dipping. Ill explain later. Lacy or plain thong ?
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