You'd love this place it's beautiful. Plus these people smell like garlic
Espresso. Can't sleep. Love puppies
You threw up. And every time you flushed you would wave and go "Bye Bye!" and then when the new water came you would greet it with "Helloooo!"
After 10 years all I have gotten is one bra pic, at this point I should be able to draw your cervix from memory
there's no such thing as luck on your birthday, only drunken invincibility, make it happen
Yea. I think between making the bride puke, feeling up the maid of honor, and sleeping with a bridesmaid. I did my part.
i think you're the only person in the world who masturbates to food network.
Weve literally been going out drinking five days a week. That counts as a full time job right?
The cab driver is now flexing at a red light...
A conundrum I think only you would understand: how to classily post "I need a ride to the liquor store" on one's Facebook wall?
She jumped on a table and took off her shirt and started yelling things that no one understood. For being 3, she has a dead on impression of a drunk party girl.
"I'm looking more at his dick bulge." Never thought I'd hear those words come out of my boyfriend's mouth.
I threw up in my room. And I cleaned it up with a spatula.
He drives a PT Cruiser.... that should have been my first clue.
The last time I saw you, you were giving the stripper a lap dance.
Randomize
