apparentely "Beer Pong Champ" is not a profession, no wonder they havent called me back......
told ya
I don't know if it's her mysterious past or atrocious grammar, but I think I'm in love.
and the mascot is a pinecone. its really no surprise that people here dont get laid
Hiding in the clothes rack at walmart like a 4 year old. Already scared 3 people. New fav weekend activity
you were wandering around the street for like an hour singing "nothing but socks on"..an original you wrote after the 12th shot i believe
I feel like I had a lobotomy last night. I blacked out. Did we try to stick my Penis in a beer bottle?
Dude you made a rodeo shot in beer pong won the game then got in the hot tub poured beer all over the side and screamed "hot tub time machine!"...
This hangover makes more sense now
If I get over there and the april fools joke is that there's no HBO, I'm setting fire to the place.
you ate the make a wish sign. Like actually chewed on it. It was our solution to going outside when the cops were there
we didnt plan anything. just randomly met up in the park, both reached into our pockets and each lit up a joint without exchanging words. we're telepathic potheads.
Went to take a shower. Brought my wine, forgot my towel.
He ate me out while watching Fifty Shades of Grey---needless to say I'm locking this down
I gave her a cheerful high five and she turned to me and said, "we should do that with our genitals." I may have to marry this girl.
I woke up this morning hand cuffed to the bed with three bruised ribs and Amy written in lipstick on my chest... what happen lastnite??
got the runs at the club last night. wondering when it'll be safe to show my face again.
Randomize
